I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My brain says no but my pants say off.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
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