Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
