There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
