just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
