i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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