I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
