Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
