Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Fuck appropriateness.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
