ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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