Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
