Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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