I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
