Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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