I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
