singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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