She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
