i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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