I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i've created a new STD.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
