Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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