Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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