I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
