This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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