I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
