Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Randomize
