Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
