her vagine was all disorganized.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
