So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
