Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
