whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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