how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
