I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
