I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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