i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
