I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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