I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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