Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
