what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The power of my boobs compel you
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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