At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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