Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
