How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
