K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
