Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
