Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
