I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Fuck appropriateness.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
