i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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