Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
