not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
