I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
