Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
