At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Do vagina's smell?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
