Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
